life isn’t good, it isn’t bad; it’s just annoying . . .


why do people change? I mean, I know that freshman year is supposed to be a transitional period in one’s life, but not to change into another person!!!!

Why is it that the only person I know that hasn’t changed his way of life, his ideals, his morals, and his standards is the one that drinks, smokes, and gets high in his bathroom. Everyone else is changing into new people, and no one is turning into a better person. Everyone is changing downhill.

I just needed to vent. It hurts, you know. These aren’t selfish feelings I’m having, they’re really not. I just love everyone in my life so much, I want them to stay above everything they used to be above doing. In the end, though, everone will make their way. God gave every person free will, and I have no right to try to take it away from them. It just hurts. I feel sad, disgusted, pained, bittersweet, morose, hopeful, and hopeless all at the same time.

These are feelings I really shouldn’t have, and I know I should be giving them up to God, and I will. I am. It’s just a process, you know. For all the other Christians out there, please pray for me as I continue to try and fight the influences all around me, and pray to give me the strength not to put my faith in other people, because you can’t. They will always let you down. That’s the very essence of our sinful natures, and the very reason Christ died. So we could put our faith in someone and delight in him always. And delight I will. Until my dying day.

God Bless,

–Paul<

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